my 10 yr high school reunion is coming up in november. does anyone wanna be my fake gf for it. i was super bullied in high school but i’m hot now so i obviously am only going to do lying, crime, and theft.
pros: - you can design your own character. i love improv games and will go along with whatever bit you desire - there’s an open bar - you don’t know any of these people and i don’t care about any of these people, which is the closest either of us will ever get to diplomatic immunity. all bets are off. go hog wild
cons: - im devastatingly pretty & funny & charming and you will fall in love with me - some of the adults present will be business majors. i cannot do anything about that im sorry. - it is a high school reunion, which is the closest either of us will ever get to a nuclear waste site
UPDATES nobody asked for:
I 100% did very much do this with @cryptidfucky. i hang out w/exclusively ne'er-do-wells, nerds, and freaks & all my friends were also EXTREMELY on board with this plan. their help ended up being crucial tbh i love them
Here are the results:
more people “recognized” alex than recognized me, their actual classmate. i found that to be extremely funny
literally changed our story per group of people we were talking to. i don’t think anyone noticed.
i got to pretend i did not recognize my high school bully which was both cathartic and also very sexy of me
everyone was nice now that i’m hot. however, now that i’m old, i realized i really don’t care if these people like me… which was even more sexy of me
my friends are all absolute heroes. i owe them my life. kisses and kisses and kisses
people absolutely bought the story.
highlights include people who texted me about them:
and this one. i need to stress - i did not actually speak directly to the person who “knew” alex. we did not find that person in the crowd. my friends were just working overtime for me. god bless them.
other results include:
several of my friends are now bringing friends on fake!dates with them to holiday events just for mischief
i am going to my office party with a straight friend of mine just so i don’t have to be alone and she gets a break from her family
we now have a rotating cast of single people all now fake dating just to literally not have to worry about being alone at bad things
summary of data:
fake date ur friends. you’re doing damage to the american isolationist ideal that only partners should be invited to events bc only romantic love “matters” or “counts”
it’s also fucking funny as hell . cannot recommend it enough
I got drunk for free and got to lie and cause drama with no consequence
Also at one point Raquel told a lawyer that I was a lawyer and he immediately started trying to shop talk with me and I FLOUNDERED. I think he might of been the only one that caught on.
